
" When I closed my eyes yesterday night my eyes automatically filled with tears, I tried to control but I failed. I burst into tears immediately when I try to stop it from flowing down. The amount of school work is seriously over my working limits and timing this time round. Exactly 4 major projects in a roll which are to hand in like week after next , and all to be complete in just 4 weeks itself excluding additional assignments.
Initially I told myself that I could be able to do it with my daily planning. Yes, I planned , followed them and I have done work. But the amount of time invest is way too over, since the 2nd week of school start this term, I have been burning midnight candles to be able to finish my work every single day even if I have started since morning. I am seriously tired…
I was thinking… Yes, I have done my work, but who the hell will appreciate my hard work ? Will I receive good comments and all? I don’t know…Anyway, I am not trying to say that when everyone sees my work, they WILL have to give me positive comments.But a tap on my shoulder is good enough for me.
In the day I may appear to be alright .To be truthful, deep inside I am not. Yes, your thinking is right. I am always acting strong while I am not one of them. I am a crybaby who always cries even over small things. I am just too timid to show.
I cried coz; too much time is taken to do ass shit who I don’t know will benefit me in any certain way in my life. If it does did, than my effort is not down to drain and I am glad. But what if it does not?
The remaining time left for me for my leisure is near to almost 0 seconds count every single day. Every day average sleeping time is 4-6 hrs which is definitely not enough for me this lazy. No shopping and buying of the things I like it indeed a torture to me as you know I like to shop and WHO THE HELL WILL NOT WANT TO BUY NEW YEAR CLOTHING! Yes, I want to buy all the things I like for CNY. No time for friends and myself. I am sad, so I burst into tears.
Everyday life spending long hours like this with paper, pen, pencil and markers are crazy! Moreover, no mistake could be made in every stroke you marker down. I agree, to be a designer, a practice a day is needed but in my case is vice-versa. Sometime too much may lead to a negative result, like what I am facing now.
Probably you think you can take it, but not me. I need time for myself and others.
Telling myself that I am brave, I have to go on with work even though I tear. Hopefully, the next time I cry; someone will be next to me to spill everything out to ones. "